summer changes

When I had 4 kids under 10 and it was summer vacation, it was not really a vacation for mom. I remember days spent wishing for just 30 minutes of peace, so I could read a book or take a nap in the sun. I spent my days doing all the same stuff I did all school year, dressing the baby, making breakfast , cleaning the kitchen, doing some laundry, picking up after the kids, making lunches, and trying to keep everyone entertained and somewhat educated and happy! I signed them up for camps to teach them things and keep them busy,soccer and summer fun camp, but then I had to be sure they were dressed and sunscreened and delivered, sack lunch in hand. I am exhausted just remembering all this.
Now, I sleep until the dogs wake me up at 6 and then 7. I spend 30 minutes feeding and walking dogs but then I am pretty well done with them for awhile. There is still laundry and dishes but no children to entertain. I do still have to drive Niki places but come the fall I won't even have to do that! What will I do then? I am having serious trouble settling to a task so far this summer. If I have a deadline I can rush around and get stuff done but otherwise, I waste lots of time on this computer. Yes, farming but also reading blogs and answering emails and deleting emails!
At this moment there is no-one at home but me and the dogs. Both kids slept over at the Mullen's last night for Haley's party. Niki came home after a run, took a shower, ate an egg and then I drove her back. I am trying to focus this AM. Cleaned up the kitchen, started a load of clothes but now look where I am, meanwhile I have clothes to fold, an entire Eagle album to make, a craft booth to prepare for, an Eagle ceremony to plan...Sigh...
I have lots of time to read and I do enjoy reading so much, but it feels wrong to have so much time. I mentioned to Curt that I was out of sorts and he said, well you better figure it out because Niki will be gone in 3 years and then what will you do? While not the kindest advice, it is true. I had better start getting some self motivation to accomplish what I have to accomplish and what I want to do or I will end up entirely useless, probably actually watching soap operas and eating bonbons like I always joke about doing!
I miss my little kids, I miss the zoo and Disney movies and blowing bubbles in the back yard. Why is life a feast or famine thing??? Why can't I have little kids and an occasional day to myself? Why do I have all this time to myself and not take advantage of it ?? sigh.............
Alright, off to fold and gather crafts and then scrap!!!! Gotta get this done!